SHINE!

WHOOOOOOO~

my blog's hundredth post!
this should be filled with things tad are worth
reading.well,been feeling mixed emotions today.

one cannot be so,selfish.
i knew it all along,knew it even before all these came crashing down.
but yeap.it got me quite a long time to fully understand.
and maybe this time,maybe until so long,
after so much thoughts,this might be the last time i will
hang those on my lips.
shall shut up,period.

there's not a worth for a question about why,and all.
if one doesn't want to speak about an issue,
then there's nothing to do about it too.
that reminded me of jeya calling me a bitch last year.

just because i asked him to shut up and go away when
cheryl seow was crying over her marks and apparently
wanted him to stop asking.well,a 'bitch' for that matter.

forgive and forget,thats what i tasted too.
i should have seen it coming.
but even if so,am i that brave to run away from it?
people are so confusing,and that made me wonder all
the time.

i've complained about the attitudes
and the way people reacted/felt to my mother,
and i think she's quite sick and tired of all
my thoughts.hahaha.but isn't that her duty?
that is to hear me nag about people and life.

as much as i wanted, that, was referring to me,
i cannot just think that, it was..?
everything changed.i don't exactly know what.
but yeap.we're like strangers now.
or not to that extent. acquaintance, perhaps.

life is harsh.life is cruel.
when somebody close passed on,and the world
doesn't stop spinning for you,how'd you felt?
when your tears splashed onto the floor (or wadever),
but your friends were still happily playing soccer,
how'd you felt? well.life is that real too.

i want to go back in time.
i think all of us want.who doesn't?

back to the time when it didn't mattered if how
the other people would think if we were laughing too loudly.

back to the time when it didn't mattered if how
the other people would think if we didn't have a phone.

back to the time when everything didn't mattered at all
if all of us were enjoying ourselves.

well,where did all of them go?
people nowadays are so,realistic.
feelings didn't mattered,.only materialistic
stuff did.

so for now.
i'll try to save.will try to save for the things i want.
the phone? hmmm.an expensive phone isn't really
what i want.furthermore,there is no quite a need for
me to change phone la.but i'll be glad if my mother
changes plan and get a new one for me. :]

and im willing to work hard.not for any reward,
but maybe,for the ability to see more what isn't
"played" out directly in life.
and for the sake of temasek junior college.

*im coughing like hell.
*i love "when it was me" , "inconsolable" and "im yours."

well.i wanted to type some more.but hell,im done.
-grinnnns-

the next post will come with pictures.
until when the short holidays come, i'll be gone.
AMATHS.PURE CHEMISTRY.EMATHS.here i come.

happybirthday.MARRISAONGWEIWEN.

Saturday, October 6, 2007