my mother isnt fierce enough.
when she scolds,i dun call that
scolding la.she's like a kitten this time.
where's tigress? gone for good?
when i needed that controll freak,
where'd she go? urghhhh.
she just changed like that.
i want her to ask my sister if she've
got a bf,and she asks like,only
a few sentences? with no pressure
or wadsoever demanding tone
she can give.

i feel guilty for not scoring
well and not putting in effort studying;
idling all day long with tad irritating
addiction of psp,all because of the fact
that she dun scolds? but just encouraged
me to do better,talking about my future
and all.i just talked to her about school
today.mentioned alot names to her,
telling her what i kept inside my mind.
she's more hip and more interested in
my life i guess.one time,she even wanna
lunch together with xinyi and all.

in short,she's just too kind this time.PERIOD.

did you realised that
its those who showed up everyday in our
lives cared,wanting nothing in return,about us,
and not the ones whom we wanted very
much to do the same? i used to ponder over
why my father dotes my sis a little more.
then i found out that,my mother was more
bias towards me.thus,more for me and a little of that.
equates to my sis : a little of that and more for her.
balanced equation isn't it?

only after the death of my grandfather's,
i wanted to have time controlled.returning to
when he was not sick,pink in health,waking up
at 5am everyday to cook breakfast for us
and when he would cook for my dog.
now he eats canned food most of the time,
compared to my grandfather's meal for him,
canned food is totally owned by that.
even though its only small chicken drumstick
with rice,it is considered more lucky to taste
what he prepared,rather than eat some cold canned food.
i missed my grandfather nagging at me to eat dinner.
i missed the time when he gave me money
to see a doctor when my dog bitten me,when
money is hard to earn when he was
working for my aunt even at the age of 60-70 +?

now the question is : who remembers and who forgets?
this doesn't apply only to me,but rather,
those who read this part.cherish people around you.
dun hate those who have hurt you,
for they have made you strong.

> a short reflection of mine for you guys.
hope that you will understand how to treasure time.
and yes.im still on hiatus!